|Cupcakes make everything better.|
Now, this could be the embittered viewpoint from one who has spent the last five Valentine's Days alone, stewing in the fact that every ex is now married, and I still can't figure that out. But maybe it's not - and in the end, who cares? I have a plan for my Valentines day. I'm not going to press my hatred or love on other people, I'm going to be eating cupcakes and cupcakes are pretty damn delicious.
|Svalbard seed vault themed cupcakes. See nerdy reason here.|
It should be easy, right? You find a person you think is pretty cool and message them. Then you message back and forth, and if that goes well, you meet in person, chemistry clicks, and the rest just flows forward like a classic romantic comedy. But there's the problem - dating, and life, is NOTHING like a romantic comedy. Because it's not that easy. Sure you can message back and forth, but you still don't know a whole lot about that person. A first date is fun, but the universe may not speak to you in a definitive way as it seems to in the movies. And then there's the physical aspect to maneuver because a kiss should be fine, but for me it's not on a first date. Or maybe even the second.
But we live and learn, right? And I'm definitely learning. I've been surprised by the underlying guilt and pressures that have bubbled up. I felt like I owed these guys something for them liking me, felt guilty for wanting to slow things down, and felt pressured to just go along with what social norms expect me to do. So now I'm slowly building upon the idea that I don't owe anyone anything. And I need to move forward at the speed most comfortable for me, and that there is no normal. There are no romantic comedies, there is no soundtrack for this life of mine. And that's okay - not easy, but definitely okay.
|... for all my angry words, a guy did give me this today. Way better than real flowers!|