The week full of things I really want, but cannot have.

For some reason, this past week decided that it wanted to try it's best to make me feel homesick for California - starting with a loaf of Boudin bread. Our co-founder, Diane Ott Whealy, was in the bay area for her book tour and brought back a loaf of that delicious San Francisco delicacy. I enjoyed my slice beyond what normal bread lovers would because I haven't found sourdough or french bread here that's actually hard on the outside, soft on the inside and deliciously tasty. I never expected bread to make me so very happy.

Later in the week, I hosted a dinner for a friend's birthday, and we got to talking about his book, which had a picture of pineapple guava bushes on the front. For my native Iowa friends this had to be explained, which prompted me to reminiesce about not only having pineapple guava's in Davis but thinking about how delicious they taste and teaching about them as a TA. And then this evolved into thinking about other plants that Californians use for landscaping purposes that also double as food sources, like citrus or strawberry trees. And thinking of strawberry trees reminded me of the beautiful Calfiornia native, toyon ... and I was now officially stuck. Not even the next day, a previous student of mine posted a picture of my favorite flower on facebook, the winter daphne. It has the most amazing smell, completely fills the space around it, and is gorgous to look at as well.

At work on Friday, I discovered that the library has the California Rare Fruit Growers Association journal, and two of the older issues had articles about Wolfskill and pomegranates from the National Clonal Germplasm Repository (where I worked while in Davis for a long time). I took them home to read over the weekend. Because I had begun thinking about persimmons, I had a few dried ones that Jenny made me before I left for Iowa. I've tried my best to save them for moments like this.

Even Iowa teased me with things I would like, but cannot have. It was foggy this week, which means there wasn't sunshine, but there was fog because the snow was melting away and so I don't get much snow either. And the conference call with Michelle Obama turned out to be rather disappointing. It was a 25 minute phone call I listened to with canned questions and dialogue mostly repeating what I've already heard. Then, there's a house down the street I walk past everyday that's for sale. My house doesn't really feel comfortable cozy because it's kind of big, so I find myself desiring this cute little house more and more but I know I can't have it, either.

Things weren't all bad - I made several delicious dinners and cakes, played games with friends (I'm really starting to enjoy this!), and learned that Gillian is going to come visit me in March - YAY. I also made it to the gym and found out I've lost a lot of weight since leaving Davis. I've figured out it comes to this: I've stopped drinking almost entirely, maybe only once a week and if then only one drink or so. I sleep more each night, which makes me less hungry during the day. I eat less at meals, and I've been cooking a lot with vegetables and healthy options. And, I don't eat out nearly as much. So I'm going to get myself some jeans that fit and a new haircut - it's about time my exterior matches the change I feel on the inside, and I can feel good about myself. This past year has had so much change, and while I still haven't gotten my tattoo, at least my hair deserves an update, something to make me feel attractive and helps me enjoy this new sort of life.

I don't recognize me either. Shirt says: Iowa 2012: Rock out with your caucus out. YES.

What do you guys think?